Cullens in Alaska
by Miss Whoniverse
Summary: Oneshot. The Cullens are taking a holiday in Alaska, and snow creates a myriad of fun possibilities! Bella is a vampire, and she and Edward are married. Post-Eclipse. R&R!


**Ah, how I love my oneshots. This one is about Bella's new powers and fun the family has. Also, Edward is slightly mellower and talks more modern like. I mean, I could write him as himself if I wanted, but I like him better when he is more fun. XD **

**Most of my oneshots are meant to be funny; and also remember that all my stories are different because I have so many ideas: like Bella's power/s, or relationships, or anything like that is different in all my stories.**

**And speaking of my coolies stories; go read them all! 8D**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. It just came to me an hour ago, and I had fun writing it. –happy face-**

**Bella POV**

I leaned on the balcony rail and watched as the stars gradually grew brighter against the sky that gradually grew darker. Edward was downstairs battling Jasper in an epic war of Playstation 3; and Emmett was on his way home from torturous shopping with Rose and Alice. I could faintly hear Carlisle and Esme murmuring together from upstairs.

We were at our new vacation home in Alaska; near the Denali residence. I was finally a vampire; and it kicked serious ass. Not only did I never sleep, but I could punch through walls, run faster than a bullet, leap tall buildings – or throw Emmett over them.

My newborn strength had almost fully receded after 7 months, but I was pleased to note that I was still almost as strong as Emmett, and as strong as Edward. Jasper cowered beneath my strength when we fought -metaphorically. He didn't need muscle, unfortunately for me. He usually just hit me with a wave of lethargy and tossed me out a window or off a mountain.

The first time that happened, we had been hunting with Edward for mountain lions, and we got into wrestling at the peak of a large mountain. Edward watched, amused, as we fought. I managed to throw Jasper back into a tree, and he got stuck in the hole he made. I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard, so he made me limp and out of it, while he picked me up and hurled me off the mountain. The deliriousness wore of just before I landed, and I opened my mouth to scream; but before I could, my face ploughed into the snow and blocked my breath. I had just wrenched my head up in time to see Jasper plough into the snow so hard he went through it for a few metres and we eventually dug him out to find his head and shoulders stuck in the solid ground further down.

I made a mental note NEVER to piss Edward off on top of a mountain. Jasper also learned that it is vital to throw Edward away before me.

If I had been using my powers, I would have won easily; but we made that a rule. Stupid Jasper and his stupid rule breaking. I laughed to myself as I replayed that day in my head.

"What amuses you so; my love?" purred a smooth voice from behind me. I smiled as Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"Just thinking about that time you threw Jasper off a mountain..." I said happily. "Who won the epic battle of thumbs?"

"Me, of course," snorted Edward arrogantly. "He never beats me. He's all annoyed now, and plots to overthrow us; the Queen and King of all that is awesome."

I joined in his laughter – with me around, there's no way Jasper would get the upper hand with me around.

Oh, how I eat my words. Temporarily, of course.

A big, solid mound of ice smashed me in the face so hard I flew backwards with Edward underneath me. I gasped as soon as I could see, and I heard Jasper's faint laughter from below the balcony.

Oh, woe is him. I got up swiftly and glided to the edge of the balcony, looking down. I saw him rolling around, weak with hysterics, and Emmett was next to him, chortling. I grinned evilly down at them, and Jasper must have felt my evil because he stopped, and looked up at me, scared. Emmett followed his lead; looking nervous.

"Silly vampires! Why would you challenge the great Bella?" I snarled. In a nice way.

I raised my arms dramatically, and closed my eyes. It was unnecessary. I could have achieved the same results with a flick of my wrist, but this was more impressive.

I put on a focused face, then opened my eyes wide and brought my arms down hard, directed at the boys.

All the snow on the roof obediently ploughed off and fell in a solid waterfall around me, but my power made the snow give me a few inches of berth.

I caught a glimpse of two identical, terrified faces before the snow buried my brothers.

I collapsed laughing, and gave Edward a weak hi-five while we rolled around giggling.

What happened next was not what I expected. Edward was suddenly flying through the air away from me, over the balcony, and Carlisle had me in an iron grip. He ran back through the house with me and took off into the forest like a bat out of hell. I gripped him tightly, too weak with laughing to fight him off – though I could have and I'm sure he knew it.

He grinned up at me and kept running full pelt towards the mountains. I gave up beating at his back and turned limp. I didn't want to ruin his fun by making a tree attack him or something.

Telekinesis is fun.

I smelled someone approaching, and so did Carlisle. He sped up even more – I was surprised at how fast he was. Even with my vampire sight the trees were beginning to blur.

He wasn't fast enough. Emerging from the trees behind us and quickly gaining, was Rosalie and Esme, hell-bent on rescuing me from my captor. I twisted around and reached out to them comically; the damsel in distress.

Esme howled threateningly at Carlisle, with a massive, evil grin on her face. He chuckled and skidded to a stop... only to take off the other way, back towards home.

I sighed. Would this ever end??

Then I was unexpectedly flung upwards. I barely realised because I was still moving and I hadn't really registered that I was going vertically instead of across. I marvelled as I flew higher and higher... Carlisle was stronger than I gave him credit for!

Then at the peak of my ascension, there was a magical moment of stillness as my momentum shifted. I was suspended for a fraction of a second, staring in wonder at the glittering spread of snowy Alaska displayed for my viewing pleasure.

Then came the falling. I wondered vaguely how deep the hole I made in the ground would be, when I saw several white darts position themselves under me. Rosalie and Esme! My saviours!!

Oh, no, wait. There they go; they've been tackled by someone. Sigh... no saviours. It didn't even occur to me that I could just make the snow catch me.

Oh, wait again! It's Edward who shoved them! I laughed to myself at his gentleman nature (ignoring the fact that he tackled two ladies) and his urge to be the one to catch me.

And catch me he did. I hit his arms and he let them down fast, then slower, absorbing my momentum. Then, without so much as a greeting, he pressed his soft lips to mine for too short a time for me, then took off.

Why must I be constantly carried? I sighed, snuggling into his arms.

This day was making very little sense.

After we got back, and the others were arriving in twos and threes, having all apparently joined the chase to rescue me from the mad doctor, I confronted Carlisle.

"What was that for? The random hour escapade for no apparent reason, hmm?" I asked him dryly.

He grinned sheepishly, and answered calmly. "That's for the dam you made in my study!"

I stared at him, then rounded on Emmett who looked terrified. "You told him _I _did that?!" I snapped. I wasn't really angry, but I liked to make him squirm before squashing him with something.

He shiftily glanced around for a means of escape. I cornered him menacingly and raised my arms.

On cue, several trees uprooted themselves behind me, and went higher as I raised my arms higher.

"Did you say _I_ did that?" I asked him again; slowly bringing the trees overhead and lined them up vertically above him. He stared up at them, as though he might be able to make them go away.

"Mmmmmmm... aybe... yes?" he said, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yes, I know." I said lazily. "Prepare to die," and with that evil remark I crouched and slapped the ground with my hands. The trees promptly buried themselves into the ground one by one until only one was left on the surface, looking like it had always been there, and the other three sat at varying depths, with Emmett at the bottom.

Emmett's cries were still echoing around the clearing, and I walked inside, grinning. Rosalie stared numbly at the spot where he had been just before, and I called out to her.

"Don't worry, he'll have dug himself out by tomorrow." Edward stared at me, amazed.

I'm not usually one to, say, bury people by trees deep into the ground, but seriously, Emmett tries to kill me _all _the time. Throwing me off things, tying me up and leaving me in random places, dressing me in a straightjacket and putting me in a car with lead tied to my foot tied to the accelerator so I couldn't slow down or steer... _that _one ended with the car crashing into a tree and me ripping the jacket off with my teeth and escaping. Emmett had run for it after he left me in the car, and I stalked him for two weeks across the country just to throw him into the Grand Canyon. He fell for almost an hour and made a hole over ten metres deep when he finally landed. I _was_ going to throw him into a volcano, but as annoyed as I was, I didn't want to kill him... much.

I am serious usually, but when I decide to bite back, watch out. I'm like Esme in that regard – calm and predictable until an excuse comes up to be evil, then I'm unrecognisable. Haha, Esme would be proud – and she was. She walked in chortling, and patted me cheerfully on the back as she went upstairs.

Alice was laughing as though her vision hadn't done justice to my dramatic acting. Like before, I could have just jerked my hand or something to bury him with my power, but frightening theatrics make it so much more fun!

Edward, Jasper, Carlisle and Rosalie trailed in slowly, looking dumbstruck and staring at me in awe. I smiled angelically, and raised my arms again, just to see what happened.

Well, Carlisle dove under the table, Rosalie screamed and ran, Edward hit the deck and Jasper buried himself in the snow to try and escape. I just fell over laughing, and went to read a book.

Life is good when you live with vampires who can't get hurt – the limits for practical jokes are endless; especially with a power like mine!

**Eh? You likes? Review or I will cut your computer!! MWAHAHA!**


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